If you are reading this you are considering having another baby. While we think that babies are wonderful gifts, let me remind you of some of the things you have forgotten in the last year(?).
- You will be super sick for 15-16 weeks. Not get out of bed sick. Want to die sick. The medicines that help make you not throw up make you sleep. After a few weeks, Mike looses it and cannot handle you not helping. Then the crying begins. That's really fun. You cry because you don't feel well. You cry because you cannot do anything but sleep and throw up. You cry because you fail at simple things. You cry because your kids fight. You cry because they don't listen. You cry because you cannot stop crying. Hormones are awesome.
- Then the vomiting stops, and the crying lets up. You are at least 2 sizes smaller than you were when this all started. And your appetite returns, with a vengeance. You eat everything in sight. You eat like a man for a while. You cannot function if you are slightly hungry. The voice in your head tells you to curb that eating spree because it is so hard to lose that weight after the fact, and then you are more miserable. You continue to walk/exercise but that only lasts until the exhaustion hits again.
- Then the third trimester hits. With that comes extreme exhaustion. You are so tired all the time. You need 12-15 hours of sleep, but only get 8. Mike becomes that warm body in the bed that you never talk to because you are always sleeping. He resents that. The kids are mad because you make them go to bed at 7 every night because you cannot keep your eyes open another minute. They fight you, they win. You don't get enough sleep. You try napping at nap time, but then are late to pick up kids. If you don't nap, carpool becomes a battle to stay awake. Coffee is the only hope. Don't forget that pregnancy brain is in full effect. Write everything down because you will forget. EVERYTHING.
- Start cooking and freezing meals now, because you will not want to cook anything for the first 15-16 weeks , and will burn whatever you try to cook for the last 10 weeks. Then you have the baby and cooking becomes that biggest challenge because you have to use a brain that doesnt work, and do it with one arm tied behind your back. Pulling food out of the freezer is even a challenge for a while because you have to think about it in advance.
- The first 7-10 days postpartum are incredibly hard. You hurt. No getting around that. Things take time to heal. You are feeding baby all the time. That hurts too. Everyone tells you what not to do, but no one does it for you. You and Mike are so tired that neither of you can think or speak coherently. People ask why we don't ask for help, but we cannot think far enough in advance to ask you to put it in your calendar. We survive that time, but it's not pretty.
- Babies spend the first 2-4 weeks with their days and nights backwards
- Babies cannot tell you what they want; and you cannot read them for a few weeks.
- Your family doesn't understand that you need a solid month to figure out which end is up. After 2 weeks you are so sleep deprived that driving is more dangerous for you now than when you were younger and would drink and drive.
- Kids don't understand that you are only one person and will drive you crazy with the nonstop requests for attention. There is not a break from the demands with 7 kids. It will only get worse with 8.
All this said...it all passes. By the time you are a year out (9 months of pregnancy and 3 months of a newborn) things get much easier. The light at the end of the tunnel appears, and gets a little brighter each day. By the time you get to nine or ten months with baby, you have forgotten all of this. And it is all worth it.
Kids are a blessing. They make your days brighter and challenge you in ways no occupation ever could.
Just some food for thought. Be prepared for it all. It's a marathon, not a sprint. You've done it before and can do it again, if you really want to:)
love,
you
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